That woman screams out her name from my mouth.
I do this sometimes.
I don’t watch videos or look at pictures to push out an orgasm.
I think of words.
Shaped as women.
Letters shaped as skin.
She pushes her lips together like they are too heavy for her face.
Her teeth are perfectly straight line-up of criminals waiting to bite me away.
I am trying to get away from them.
I left the country with passport and two backpacks and folded clothing and empty notebook and extra ink and I just needed to find my way out of these women.
The salt and vinegar. Smell of nail polish remover or mascara. Grease and leather.
You like the pretty ones. The ones with inches against their heels.
I like the girls who look like boys. The dirty ones.
The ones who confuse men like you or challenge men like you or put men like you out of commission.
I think about the one who dipped me in the Pacific and covered me with shells and dried kelp.
Or the one who never owned a bed, preferred bathrooms and barrooms and dance floors and car parts like hood or roof and alleys and brick wall blankets. Those women.
Women with wrists tied up like elliptical gifts.
Hair, sometimes enough to pull on or that stubble that scrapes or what gets shaved away that slides beneath me.
I left so I could write, Charles, because their sex is too distracting.
You and I, we are supposed to be alone, with occasional bouts of bodies releasing us toward our next poem.
They think I am capable of love, Charles.
Can I send you on over?
Can you let them know how we are?
That woman kisses an erection onto me.
* * *
My nudity is alarming at times.
Bruises form and I forget to ask why.
I used to be hairless.
All those men and women like that, you know.
They hate the challenge of hair.
Don’t want your pubes in my teeth, she says.
My cunt hides now, which I like because sometimes I don’t want it there.
Sometimes I want a different shape or Latin classification.
Not a mammal but a reptile. Or amphibian maybe.
Those women popped your pimples with their manicured press-on nails, with their crooked, nicotine teeth. They never asked you to stop being ugly. And if they had, you would have just sent them to get more beer.
That woman blinks slowly enough to translate the wind pattern of clouds.
She moves over me like a wave of grunts.
I fake three orgasms in seven different languages.
I yearn to grow hairier, to challenge her digestive system.
I order up another round of poems, place them beneath my body and use the still-wet ink as lubricant.
When I look outside my window, Charles, I see only the tops of trees.
Everything is dark, yet the sky is plum.
Yours in whiskey and women,